Things have been exceptionally great since I’ve made a conscious decision to block off time for “us” — whether that be the boys and I, Ashish and I or everyone together! By not allowing those rare free days to get swallowed up with commitments on the calender, we’ve freed up our ability to be spontaneous! That has worked wonders.
We were averaging 1-2 play date a week last year and though we love our friends, it just became too much with me going to school full time now. (School is a HUGE chunk of time as it’s not only class time, but homework and projects.) Now, we average 1 to 2 play dates a month. If it’s a high volume birthday party month, we may just skip the idea of any play dates so life is less complicating. After all, our boys DO go to school Monday thru Friday for three hours a day…so they are getting plenty socializing in already.
I’m also learning to be a bit more selfish about my time. Do I miss my friends I use to see more regularly- you betcha! It doesn’t mean that I don’t still adore them. But I know if they are really my friend they understand that I’ve got a lot on my plate with school, daily pick-ups in Plymouth, the boys, my photography-stuff, health and all the responsibilities of being a Mommy without any ‘family’ to provide back-up support. Of course, of course, THEY are themselves a HUGE amount of support and have always offered to help where they can with our boys. That’s greatly appreciated…but I want to be able to “do it all.” I guess I kind of take pride in that. At least for now.
I’ve also enjoyed doing things on my own again…I find it gives me the time alone to allow my creative energy to circulate. In turn, I am not only a better Mommy, a better wife…but a better ME! I like ME and while I was getting SO stressed this past Autumn and at many times didn’t like who I was…I’ve seemed to evolve and learn a bit more about what works for the health and sanity of me. I need my space, I need my time, I like to see friends and hang out but not at the expense of not having family time–down time–…Make sense? For now, it does for me!
I am a “happy person.” I have been since I was born. It’s just my nature. However, I’ve also learned that being a happy person doesn’t mean you HAVE to ALWAYS keep up that over the top happy image. You can be happy without blowing horns, beating on drums and doing a flip every time you see someone (after all, I’m not a dog!) or are excited about something. You can genuinely feel happy for someone without doing a back bend to show them how happy you are for them. While I am sure that some people think I’m not happy because I’m being more authentic to my feelings and moods, I assure you…live hasn’t been this good in some time.